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“Virtually every thing will work once more in the event you unplug it for a couple of minutes, together with you.” ~Anne Lamott
I used to imagine that success meant at all times being accessible. All the time saying sure. All the time responding instantly to emails, Slack pings, texts, no matter was thrown my method. As a result of if I finished—even for a second—I would fall behind. And if I wasn’t working tougher than everybody else, was I even working exhausting sufficient?
For years, that mindset labored. Or so I assumed. Each win, each promotion, each new milestone felt like including gas to the hearth. The extra I ‘succeeded’ by society’s requirements—the title, the profession, the monetary stability—the extra I pushed myself to do extra, to be extra.
My perfectionism kicked in, too. I didn’t simply wish to succeed; I needed to be good at every thing—profession, management, motherhood, marriage, friendships. And I by no means eliminated something from my plate—I simply saved stacking it larger.
I climbed the company ladder, turned the primary feminine VP in a 300-person advertising org at a Fortune 500 firm, and checked each success field that ought to have made me really feel completed. However as an alternative of feeling fulfilled, I felt… empty. Exhausted. Like I used to be operating on fumes however too scared to cease.
After which at some point, my physique gave me no selection however to cease. It wasn’t a gradual fade or a warning signal I might ignore—it was like somebody pulled the plug. I went from a high-functioning overachiever to somebody who couldn’t even kind a sentence with out feeling mentally drained.
Not simply stress. Not simply exhaustion. A full-body, full-brain shutdown. Emails didn’t make sense. Conversations felt like static. I couldn’t course of ideas.
My mind hit the off swap, and I didn’t know the right way to flip it again on. I sat at my desk, watching my display screen, and for the primary time in my life, I bodily couldn’t push by.
That second scared me greater than something.
5 years earlier than my full breakdown, I had already been on a collision course. In that quick span of time, I turned a mom, acquired promoted to director, took on extra groups and obligations, misplaced my sister and grandmother, and moved into a brand new home—which promptly caught fireplace.
However I nonetheless saved pushing, nonetheless saved performing, as a result of slowing down wasn’t an possibility. Till my physique made it one.
I keep in mind sitting in my automotive after work, gripping the steering wheel, staring blankly forward. I had nothing left.
It wasn’t simply exhaustion; it was one thing deeper, one thing that made me really feel like I had misplaced management over my very own thoughts and physique. I had constructed my total identification on being productive, on being the go-to individual, the one who at all times delivered.
However now I had nothing left to offer. And I had no thought the right way to repair it.
What I Discovered from My Breaking Level
However how did I get to that time?
How did I’m going from thriving on the hustle to fully shutting down?
Wanting again, the indicators have been all there—I simply ignored them.
The late nights, the skipped meals, the creeping exhaustion I saved disregarding as ‘simply a part of the job.’ My physique had been warning me for years, and I didn’t hear. Till I had no selection.
That breaking level compelled me to ask myself one thing I had spent my complete life avoiding:
What am I chasing, and at what value?
Right here’s what lastly made me understand I couldn’t maintain going like this (and what I want I had found out earlier than I hit all-time low):
1. Relaxation isn’t a reward. It’s a requirement.
For the longest time, I assumed sleeping extra would repair every thing. I watched a MasterClass with Dr. Matt Walker (a sleep knowledgeable) and realized all about chronotypes—morning larks vs. night time owls. I knew I used to be a morning lark, so I figured, Nice, I’ll simply get to mattress earlier, and that ought to do it!
Besides, it didn’t.
I’d lie there at night time, my physique nonetheless, however my mind operating marathons.
Did I give my kiddo his treatment?
Did somebody feed the canine?
Is my staff member feeling higher after being out sick?
Crap, I forgot to maneuver the laundry. Now I’ve two selections: go away it and take care of the stink tomorrow, or drag myself away from bed to repair it.
That’s once I realized that relaxation isn’t nearly sleep. It’s about giving your thoughts and physique an actual reset.
I discovered that once I hung out in my backyard, I had extra endurance with others.
I picked up crocheting for the primary time in twenty-five years, making beanies like my life trusted it. They have been lovely—and it introduced me a peace I hadn’t felt in years.
I began enjoying board video games with my youngsters, laughing across the desk as an alternative of dashing them to mattress simply so I might soar again on-line and “get forward.”
For years, I handled parenting like a accountability (which, to be honest, it’s), however I by no means simply let time be. The whole lot had been a job to finish, a schedule to comply with. However slowing down, being current, laughing with my household—THAT felt like true relaxation.
Relaxation isn’t nearly stopping. It’s about resetting in a method that truly fuels you.
2. Ambition and steadiness can co-exist.
Let’s be actual—I’m nonetheless a piece in progress in terms of boundaries. However one of many largest shifts I made was realizing that every thing in life is a season.
I used to overthink each determination. Saying no felt heavy, like I used to be closing a door ceaselessly. However as soon as I began pondering in seasons, every thing modified.
As an alternative of “no,” I began saying “not proper now.” This made boundaries really feel lighter and simpler to stay to.
I acquired clear on my non-negotiables. If one thing crammed my cup, it acquired precedence time. If one thing drained me? It was time to let it go.
For years, I used to be the type of chief who stated issues like “I help your determination” when somebody wanted break day—however the undertone was at all times “however we actually want you right here.” The unstated stress to overwork was actual.
Now, I construct my life round individuals who encourage me to spend money on myself—not simply help it, however push me to do it. And that makes all of the distinction.
3. If stopping feels scary, that’s an indication it’s essential to cease.
I used to be terrified to decelerate. I had constructed my total fame on:
All the time being accessible (Praised!) All the time performing on the prime (Praised!) Residing each side of hustle tradition (Praised!).
It was my identification. So, if I finished… who even was I?
What if I had labored my butt off for nothing?What if folks stopped seeing me as “profitable”—would they assume I used to be a failure?
I’m nonetheless on this transition, and actually, it’s nonetheless scary. However leaning into the unknown is a part of redefining success. That’s what makes it really feel much less terrifying.
I used to imagine success = standing, energy, cash.Now, I see success as one thing greater—well being, pleasure, presence.
And whereas I gained’t faux it’s simple, I can let you know this: it’s price it.
What This Means for You
If you happen to’re studying this, questioning why—regardless of all of your effort—you continue to really feel exhausted, caught, or empty… I get it. I’ve sat in that very same place, operating on fumes, satisfied that pushing tougher was the reply. But it surely’s not. It by no means was.
You don’t have to interrupt earlier than you begin making adjustments. Small shifts—pausing, setting boundaries, rethinking what success really means—can prevent from ever reaching that breaking level.
Take the break now. Reclaim your vitality now. Redefine success now. As a result of the life you need isn’t ready in your subsequent achievement—it’s ready on you to cease operating lengthy sufficient to truly stay it.
About Kris LicataKris Licata is a former company chief who is aware of firsthand how hustle tradition disguises itself as ambition. Now, she helps high-achievers break away from burnout and redefine success on their very own phrases. Because the founding father of Break & Bloom, she creates experiences that assist overachievers reset by creativity, connection, and humor—as a result of success ought to gas you, not drain you. Comply with her journey and get actual, relatable insights at krislicata.com.
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